| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|02:52 pm] |
Today:
Got my new license in the mail today. Has anyone seen the new DE licenses? The cowboy on a bucking horse hologram makes us look like a real hick state. Also got my first credit card. I'm gonna be good though, creditors circling like sharks just waiting for me to bleed.
The local puerto rican store clerk looks at me like he wants to beat me up everytime I go in and now i know why; dude swears i'm dominican and even had a snide remark in spanish today. i didnt know it was still so serious between them.
Last night:
I told Steven about my shit; the coke and all the craziness that went on a couple of years ago. He was surprised, asked some questions but didnt make a big deal out of it. It was a huge load off of me because i've never lied to him, but technically i was lying by omission.
My roommate is having a baby with the biggest bitch in the world, but i'm still happy for him. Change of plans, change of scenery. Motherfuckers going off to afghanistan left and right. Construction is profitable, but the danger is real and I just hope they all make it back in one piece.
If things stay calm, peaceful and stable, I swear I could find myself falling into a life of content monotony. That would be alright by me. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2005|06:32 pm] |
been working like a dog lately. my only subordinant quit, leaving me with a pile of work and a ton more $$, so i really cant complain too much. the bar is, well the bar and i'm calling some guy tonight about possible working designing flyers, business cards and such for his parties. tomorrow, i meet up with portia. yes loud, obnoxious, scheming portia from brandywine. we used to get into so much shit together so i'm really looking forward to seeing her.
on self improvement:
i've been feeling more and more comfortable with my body except my butt. it looks like it may have gotten bigger, but not by much. and i see all these ads for collagen injecting, botox addicted tangerine coloured white girls (all with bigger asses than me) and i cant help but think "should i too jump on the plastic enhancement bandwagon?". Hopefully its a passing thought, but goddamnit, i got jipped. maybe they can inject fat deposits in my ass and then i would be a big booty swinging beauty. right.
i'm sorry for flaking out on you ween, i'll make it up to you i promise (i.e., the big 2-1). |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|07:14 pm] |
This weekend was my 21st birthday celebration although my actual birthday isnt until tuesday. My aunt cracks me up, still a lush and now smokes black and milds. I slept under the rotating annheiser bush sign and came home to a clean house. tomorrow morning i have an interview for a second job bartending at the local watering hole. and i'm registering for Crane's summer painting course. overall things are looking up.
Congratulations to the artists featured in SVA's Junior Thesis Show, opening April 5
-back to work |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2004|05:32 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Cake & Eat It Too" - Nice & Smooth | ] |
this is the first real 'homework that's due tomorrow and i'm freaking out' session i've had all year, which is good. too bad it doesnt help me now. so i'm gonna continue to download music to distract myself for awhile, then i'm gonna tackle this fucking drawing head on. and smack it around a little.
because i care |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2004|02:46 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Nas - The Lost Tapes | ] |
school is hectic this year, but managable. crazy bitches occasionally throw bottles at my window, but things could be worse. i get verbally harassed by 14 year old boys coming home everyday, but at least they're not 13.
hey. is it really true? i cant possibly look that different. but yes, i suppose i dont recognize me either. yeah man, its true. i'm fucking happy.
life's given me a neverending prescription for tranquilizers and i'm telling you they really hit the spot.
having successfully weeded all the bullshit out of my life the focus will be keeping it that way. if i can stay in this frame of mind and ride it out, i will be alright. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2004|03:18 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | "Sparkle" by Camp Lo | ] |
saw the mugshot in a magazine and i couldnt stop laughing. just too fucking funny.
found a place to live. cheap ass rent, roof access. perhaps an old school party?
moving some of my shit in tomorrow, but i need my car.
i bought a car but its in maryland....currently impounded. life is just too funny, right?
but i promise. i swear. it'll work out after this. there will be no more whining. no more complaining over the tired tribulations of life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|12:26 am] |
"we are too caught up in our lives to take your calls from now on. leave fifty messages and someone, somewhere, quite some time from now will get back to you. fuck it, we wont lie. no one's calling back because we dont care"
fuck your plans. tell the kids to unpack, the wife to pull out the six-pack and get comfortable because your gonna be here for a long time. these times, quite honestly remind me of the 6th grade when sarah canty told me that she didnt want to be my best friend anymore. after the initial shock, i was left with feelings of bitterness and betrayal but most of all i just wanted my stuff back.
i just couldnt bear the thought of life without my pearl jam cd
take cover trusted company, there are those who collect trophies. they seek prey, then they hunt on the weak and dying solely for sport. they do not comprehend that the prey too has feelings. As the hunter relishes in his victory feeling satisfied with his newly earned trophy, he feels absolutely nothing for the remaining carcass discarded without so much as a second thought.
because prey doesnt have any feelings
i wonder, what do they do once all of their walls, floors, refrigerators, cielings, doors are covered, basements, closets, garages, attics, trunks are overflowed with trophies? where will they have to store their stolen sense of pride?
i miss normality. i miss drawing comics of mr. d ruth's student teacher in dominatrix gear. i miss wilmington punk shows althougth i dont miss the people. i miss elevator dance parties and kitchen cabinets filled with empty 40s. i miss trips to first state during state testing. i miss making andrea fear for her life while driving. i miss being the best at whatever i do. but i do not miss being fucked.
hunters beware. the animals are now armed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|11:48 am] |
last night i had a dream that school was here again.
i woke up again in a random dorm room, walked outside to see fresh meat, the halls overflowing with wide eyes.
their breath heavy with mother's milk. so i trotted by, singing along.
some pompous heathen makes a comment, i backtrack. and proceed to kick her in the head until blood spews forth. and then run away.
now for reality:
i've been playing way too much gta. i have now, haha, get this 3 brothers. yessum, a one year old i met on the 4th. how's that for fireworks.
he crys he wails he is attached to my hip. i cant help but love him. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|01:33 am] |
| [ | music |
| | "Candyman" by Siouxsie and the Banshees | ] |
for now, the world revolves around me. and yes, i accept donations.
--btw-- i still love you |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|02:56 am] |
it took lots of effort to de-submerge and get exit the black hole that is 'home'. visited with kay tay, andrea and uh, melissa (?) and headed to south st. Bought needless things to make myself feel better, a kali sticker and much needed art supplies. the next day took a road trip with cuz nita, drove from state to state, everyting was looking good.
now i know i shouldnt be criticizing anyone else's road rage, but shit that girl drives like a blind goat behind a go-kart. we were but a mere 10 miles from our destination, ended up sitting at a red light. nita mentions something about visiting a friend, the light turns green. i wonder why the hell were still sitting there.
'the light's green you know'
"i know, i'm pressing on the gas"
the car is going nowhere. least not forward because now it is starting to inch backwards (that's in the direction of oncoming traffic).
'oh fuck'
so she starts freaking out, i tell her to step on the brake, turn the car off and re-start it. then it seems like everything is good, great, solid. nope, car wont change gears. we pull over into some deserted bates motel type place, call the rents and wait. oh yes, wait we did.
all sorts of seedy characters came 'to our rescue' but none got past the power locks and windows barracading us inside.
i think this is the 3rd car my cousin has killed in the past 18 monthes. so officially, i need a new mode of trans.
tomorrow; quality time with klayer and the plastic crate couch.
on a side note, i've been thinking about stinky . seems out of the blue. havent seen him in monthes. originally i thought he went crazy, wondered why he kept a distance. now i know why. just so its known, dont take it personal, but i'm taking his stance and emulating his actions.
--Reparations have been on the tip of every american political leader's tongue since the fucking slaves were freed, but that's as far as its seemed to have gone. no one's waiting for a fat check to arrive and it would be so much easier if people would just give it up. Now, some gracious leaders in Ghana have worked it out so that for only $2500, you get a round trip ticket, land and the provisions to live a self sustained life. Dont be surprised if you dont see us flocking. 40 acres and a mule somehow transcribes to a plot of dry scorched earch in the middle of a developing nation? If you dont laugh it'll end up making you cry. |
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| goddamn |
[May. 11th, 2004|02:55 pm] |
i say goddamn, its hotter than sweaty balls in this house. my cheap ass mom wont turn on the central air, these fans keep blowing papers all over the place. we've been reduced to walking 'round 1/2 naked.
my lame cousin is busy chasing, as she puts it,'the fine-ness' some guy in pennsylvania. i wouldnt mind if she didnt fucking use OUR car to drive away for days at a time. leaving me at the mercy of public transportation, walking, or worse, chuck. you see, chuck isnt too bright. he spends most of his time pointing out my piercings and tattooes, then repeatedly asking me if i have *coughanyothershopefullybelowthewaistcough*. as much as a glare and try to keep complete silence, nothing seems to propell the beast.
tonight, i go to mike n kelly's lovely shack adjacent to the swampy hills of lower de to meet the new baby and have one hell of a jamboree. mike's gonna build my wet bar this summer, hot damn i can smell the liquor already.
its only been a week and i am exactly 5.5 pounds fatter already. new rolls, new horizons, i cant fucking wait. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2004|01:52 am] |
i took some time to re-evaluate my feelings, perceptions and such, and decided not to completely delete my lj even though i feel as though its been turned almost entirely into a bitch journal ran by degenerate losers who should not even be allowed to touch a keyboard. yes, that was a run-on. besides, i've never been one to run away even if shit gets tough. (To whom it concerns: btw, remember that i am smarter than you so i know you will never pay me back the money you owe me, or even acknowledge it if you see me. you will most likely smile in my face and act like everything is peachy, you amazing cunt. i hope your non-existant kicks were worth it.)
my prognosis is good, nothing a few antibiotics and chlorambucil wont fix. recent death in the family has rendered me sleepless. i'm dreading the funeral, and i know i'm in denial about the whole thing. travis was 19, and it kind of kicked me in the ass. at this age, we consider ourselves invincible, even if we dont know it. until i see the body...i wont know its real.
i dont really want to bring up anything else, its too soon to tell and i dont want to jinx it. but really good employment and travel prospects are in the works. WEEEEEN TAKE CARE OF WIGGLES' CAVE! and mah hat too. wear it with style as i will soon return to reclaim it.
as for chikitito, i am not in love. i do not feel love in the air, but things are good and i do care. i am not the cold, heartless awkward little girl people so quickly summed up not so long ago, and that can only be credited by his support and needless admiration.
sleep is finally near.
i'm out |
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